Posted by on 9 months ago


I wonder if Obama looks at his Nobel Peace Prize and laughs menacingly like a cartoon villain right before he makes the final decision to bomb some country or another. I wonder if he’s even involved in the decision-making process.

I will probably not get an answer to those questions, but I do know for a fact that Obama has bombed more countries than any living president, and even more than Ronald Reagan, who despite my having assumed would live eternally due to his vampirism is allegedly no longer alive.

I’m sure at this point a lot of Obama fanboys and girls are ready to just scroll down to the comments and call me a racist or something for posting a lie about Obama. Hopefully you’re still reading, so you can click on this link where the bombings of the countries on this list below are verified.


Carter – A big fat zero. Imagine that, a US President managed to get through a term without bombing another country.

Reagan – Ushering in the current era of Neoliberal wars for corporate profit, Reagan dropped some bombs on El Salvador, Grenada, Iran, Lebanon, Libya, and Nicaragua.

Bush – In four years, son of Nazi business associate Prescott Bush attacked Iraq, Kuwait, Panama.

Clinton – While not using his power to essentially rape impressionable young members of his staff, Slick Willie nailed Afghanistan, Bosnia, Iraq, Somalia, Sudan, and Yugoslavia with American fire power.

GW Bush – In eight years, Dubya only managed to rack of 4 bombed nations with Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Yemen, but I think we can all agree that Iraq should give him a hefty stack of bonus points.

Obama – Obombya has rained hellfire on Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia, and Syria in his Presidency thus far, managing to outdo everyone else in at least one category, but don’t forget he has half a year to go, and something might need to happen before November to make sure the public is scared enough to vote for Clinton.

If Hillary Clinton is elected President, expect the list to include Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Pakistan, Yemen, Syria, Lebanon, Sudan, Iran, North Korea, and also an increase in Latin American coups against Democratically elected leaders (we try to avoid war in our hemisphere because we could get his with refugees. We don’t care if we cause refugee crises in the Middle East, Africa, or Europe.)

That St. Obama is still admired by some people who call themselves ‘progressives’ is testament to the propaganda success of the Neoliberal establishment. They have succeeded in making us more concerned about bathrooms than bombs, distracting us from the existentially vital issues that impact our country and our world.

Edit: Immediately after I finished writing this, Obama formally endorsed Clinton.



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